A Day Without My Father-in-Law

This morning, my father-in-law left to play golf.

The day before, he had left a message saying,

“I won’t be here for lunch or dinner.”

It was a small thing, but the atmosphere in the house felt slightly different from the beginning of the day.

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When my father-in-law is here, lunch is at twelve and dinner is at seven.

We eat according to those times.

But when it is just the two of us, we are free.

Today, I was very hungry, so we had lunch at around eleven-thirty.

We did not have to adjust ourselves to anyone else.

That alone made me feel a little lighter.

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Preparing meals is more demanding than it seems.

What should we make?

How much should we prepare?

What should we make different for lunch and dinner?

These are things we have to think about every day.

In my case, we only prepare two meals, lunch and dinner, so I am probably in a relatively fortunate position.

My mother-in-law used to prepare breakfast, lunch, and dinner for seven people every day.

She continued doing that for twenty or thirty years.

When I think about it, I can only bow my head in respect.

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When one more person becomes part of a household, it means one more portion of food.

But it is not only about meals.

We adjust our daily schedules.

We become aware of the sounds in the house.

We let each other know when we are going out.

We think about what time we will return.

We live together while making small adjustments for one another.

That is not necessarily a bad thing.

But it would be untrue to say that there is no pressure involved.

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That is why, when my father-in-law is away, there is a certain sense of freedom.

It becomes time for just the two of us.

Meals can be simple.

We can cook something, or we can decide not to cook.

The atmosphere in the house becomes a little lighter.

I imagine my father-in-law feels something similar when he has time to himself.

From tomorrow until next Tuesday, it will be my wife and me who are away from Chiba.

We are holding a treatment event in Kobe on Sunday, July 12.

For that reason, we will drive to Kobe starting tomorrow, Saturday.

We plan to stay there for several days and return on Tuesday.

During those four days, my father-in-law will be on his own.

It will probably be a time when he can enjoy his own freedom as well.

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When we first began living together, I was very conscious of my father-in-law.

Whenever we went somewhere, I would ask,

“Would you like to come with us?”

I also tried to prepare meals with as many dishes as possible, making something a little more elaborate.

But through my wife, my father-in-law eventually told us,

“There is too much food.”

After that, we stopped trying to prepare too many dishes.

We began making one main dish and keeping things as simple as possible.

That was easier for my father-in-law, and it was easier for us too.

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My father-in-law has his own life.

My wife and I have ours.

Living together does not mean that we have to do everything together.

In fact, perhaps having time to live freely and separately is what allows people to continue living together for a long time.

Being considerate of another person.

And also, not making that person feel they have to be considerate of us.

Both are necessary.

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Today, my father-in-law was away for a while.

Starting tomorrow, my wife and I will be the ones leaving the house.

Each of us will spend time in our own way.

When we return, we will go back to our usual life.

Perhaps family life continues in this way, moving a little apart and then coming close again.