The Feeling of “Not Wanting Children” and Severe Menstrual Pain

This is a story I often share during workshops.

It involves a woman in her thirties.

She was still quite young.

Her main issue was a gynecological condition, especially severe menstrual pain.

It had become serious enough to interfere with her daily life.

So when she first came to the salon, the priority was simple:

how to relieve that pain.

As usual, I placed my hands lightly near her head and began quietly observing her body as a whole.

After a few moments, I felt something unusual around her lower abdomen.

It felt twisted.

Not physically twisted in a medical sense,

but energetically distorted somehow.

Of course, telling someone,

“Your energy feels twisted,”

is not necessarily helpful.

So instead of saying that directly, I continued observing more carefully.

Then a very strong emotional impression emerged.

“I do not want to have children.”

The feeling was extremely intense.

Moments like this are difficult.

Even if I perceive something strongly, I rarely tell people everything directly.

If it does not genuinely help the person, there is little point in saying it.

And honestly, saying strange things to someone you have just met can easily become irresponsible.

I am not a fortune teller.

Still, in this case, the emotional intensity and the physical condition felt deeply connected.

And I sensed that in order for the tension to release, she herself needed to recognize that feeling consciously.

So I decided to say something very directly.

“Whether to have children or not is not an emotional issue.”

“It is a choice.”

“Choosing not to have children is not wrong at all.”

“But I think it may help if you separate that decision from emotion itself.”

Looking back, it was probably a very abrupt thing to say.

But at the time, it felt like the only honest option.

Immediately, she looked at me quietly and confessed:

“I truly do not want to have children.”

I replied:

“That is completely okay.”

“But treat it as a conscious choice, not as emotional pain.”

That was the end of the session.

The following month, she returned to the salon.

She told me her menstrual pain had become much lighter.

So in the end, things worked out well.

But as she was leaving, she quietly added one more thing.

“There was a very intense experience in my past that made me feel this way about having children.”

I paused for a moment.

Part of me wondered whether I should ask further.

But I chose not to.

Everyone has areas of their life that should not be opened forcefully.

Not everything needs to be uncovered.

For many years, I had already felt that other people’s emotions can affect the body deeply.

But this experience made me realize something else.

Our own emotions may affect our bodies even more strongly than we realize.

Anger.

Fear.

Rejection.

Sadness.

Sometimes these emotions slowly embed themselves into the body over long periods of time.

Of course, I am not trying to explain everything through emotions alone.

Life is never that simple.

Still,

the body and emotions are far less separate than we often imagine.

I encounter situations like this surprisingly often.

Recently, I have begun to feel that observing the body also means observing the emotions a person carries while living their life.

And perhaps,

the most important thing of all

is learning how to care for oneself gently.

That is what this experience quietly taught me.

Recently, in addition to in-person sessions, I have also been offering remote support and space-based support.

I do not only observe the body itself, but also the tension, emotions, and environments surrounding the person.

▼ Remote Supporthttps://www.karadanaoru.com/mirai?lang=en

Yuki Matsuoka