Turning the Unconscious into Awareness

The other day, I took a lesson with Diego and Aldana for the first time in two months.

It was not that I had been skipping lessons.

They had been away on tour in Europe and Asia.

During that time, I practiced in my own way.

I kept dancing tango.

Still, their lessons feel different.

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I have danced with many professional tango dancers.

Of course, many of them are wonderful.

But sometimes, there is a feeling of,

“I am dancing for you.”

They are professionals, so of course they are good.

Their bodies move.

They have technique.

But somehow, I become the audience.

It feels like we are dancing together, but in reality, I am only experiencing the other person’s dance.

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Aldana is different.

After dancing with me, she always asks Diego,

“How was our dance?”

That surprises me a little.

For her, tango is truly something two people create together.

Leader and follower.

It is not one person’s dance.

The dance appears between two people.

She is always open.

To her partner.

To the space.

To the music.

So even a small lead from me passes through her body and comes back as dance.

Maybe that is very natural for her.

Every time we dance, she says,

“That was fun.”

“So much fun.”

When she says that, I am simple enough to be happy.

It makes me want to give a better lead.

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Recently, I have been thinking about what it means to improve in tango.

For now, I think improvement means turning the unconscious into awareness.

The things I do without realizing.

The habits I cannot see in myself.

The way I use my body because it has become too normal for me.

They find those things quietly.

And they point them out.

I correct them.

I dance again.

They point something out again.

That is the repetition.

Before, they almost never praised me.

Recently, little by little, they have started to praise me.

It is simple, but that alone gives me more energy to keep going.

The path of tango does not end easily.

Rather, just when I feel I am beginning to understand something, I realize how long the path still is.

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They will leave again in early July for about two months, traveling through Asia and then to Argentina.

So I will not be able to see them for a while.

That is why I have to take the homework from this lesson and let it grow inside me.

What was unconscious becomes awareness.

What becomes awareness enters the body.

What enters the body becomes dance.

That is how we move forward, little by little.

Maybe that is the only way.