Be Stricter with Others, and Kinder to Yourself

Yesterday, two new clients came to see me after reading the announcement for my August 22 conversation with Professor Naoya Fujiwara.

Both had been experiencing physical problems whose causes remained unclear.

⸻

The first was a woman.

About a year ago, her left ankle became severely swollen, accompanied by a fever of 38 degrees Celsius.

At the time, she was diagnosed with pseudogout.

The symptoms subsided after about two weeks.

Then, in May of this year, she developed hives across her entire body, and her face swelled to around one and a half times its usual size.

She did not visit a hospital on that occasion, but the symptoms again subsided after about two weeks.

In late June, her left ankle became swollen once more.

A week later, her right ankle also began to swell.

She had a fever of 38 degrees Celsius for three weeks, and the swelling in her ankles has still not completely disappeared.

The location of the pain also changes from time to time.

Putting weight on her feet had become difficult.

⸻

She told me that this was the first time she had left home in about a month.

When she arrived, she could not stand upright.

Even marching in place was difficult.

Her medical history and symptoms were complex.

I am not able to diagnose their cause.

Because she has experienced repeated episodes of high fever and swelling, it is also important for her to continue seeking medical evaluation.

What I can do through a session is observe the body in front of me and address its current tension and imbalances in movement, one at a time.

⸻

As I examined her entire body, I felt that movement had become restricted in several areas and that the connections between them had been lost.

I carefully worked through each area where I sensed resistance.

After continuing the session for a while, I asked her to sit up and stand again.

This time, she was able to stand upright.

She could also march in place using both feet without difficulty at that moment.

Of course, this change did not mean that we had identified the cause.

Nor could it be taken to mean that her condition had been cured.

Even so, she was surprised that she could now perform movements that had been difficult only a short time earlier.

I was also intrigued by the change her body displayed.

⸻

The body of the second client revealed something different.

⸻

The man who accompanied her had experienced pain in both shoulders, his knees, and his wrists for about a year and a half.

The painful area changed over time.

He also sometimes experienced what felt like nerve pain.

When I observed his body, I received a different impression from the one I had received from the woman.

His body seemed to belong to someone whom many people relied upon and who had continued trying to meet their expectations.

⸻

I sensed a strong blockage around his chest.

“Let’s begin by working here,” I told him.

I placed my hand lightly on his chest.

I did not press hard.

After remaining there for a while, I felt the restriction gradually begin to release.

I then asked him to sit up and check how his body felt.

He said he no longer felt pain in either shoulder.

There was still some discomfort in his knees, but he said,

“It feels much better than before.”

As I continued the session, he said that the remaining pain gradually eased as well.

Again, this was simply the change he experienced at that particular time, on that particular day.

I do not know what will happen from here.

⸻

I told him,

“Please be stricter with other people, and kinder to yourself.”

Usually, we are told the opposite.

Be strict with yourself.

Be kind to others.

But I did not feel that he needed to hear those words.

He already seemed more than strict enough with himself.

I also had the impression that he was someone who treated the people around him with care, kindness, and consideration.

When someone asks for help, he responds.

Even when he is tired, he acts for the sake of someone else.

If he continues living that way, his own body will always come last.

⸻

Taking care of yourself does not mean becoming selfish.

Nor does it mean abandoning other people.

Devoting yourself to others until your own body breaks down is not the only form of kindness.

Sometimes, you need to decline a request.

Sometimes, you need to say that something is beyond what you can do.

Some of the consideration you give to others can also be directed toward yourself.

For some people, that would be just the right balance.

⸻

Being kind to others is important.

But there is no need to continue sacrificing yourself.

Some people have already spent more than enough time being hard on themselves.

Those people may need to hear the opposite message.

Be a little stricter with others.

And be a little kinder to yourself.