Please Do Not Try So Hard

I think Japanese people try too hard.

And many people do not even realize it.

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Years ago, when my wife and I were still living in Argentina, I once said something like this to my Spanish teacher:

“In Japan, there are people who take their own lives because of work.”

She looked genuinely shocked and said,

“What? Why? For something like work?”

On that point, she was right.

It is strange to die for something like work.

And yet in this country, there are times when that strangeness is not treated as strange.

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There is nothing worth sacrificing your life for.

Not only work.

Childcare.

Cooking.

Cleaning.

Relationships.

Anything.

If it becomes too painful, you can drop it.

You can run away.

You can stop for a while.

In this country, the option of “running away” is far too scarce.

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If you do not, sooner or later, the body will start to scream.

I have seen many people like that.

The body is honest.

Even when the mind thinks, “I’m still okay,” the body often signals the limit first.

The shoulders harden.

The lower back gives out.

Sleep disappears.

The breath becomes shallow.

You feel tired even when you have done nothing.

That is not because the body is weak.

It is because you have been trying too hard.

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That is why I always tell people:

“Please do not try so hard.”

“Please cut corners.”

When I say this, people often look a little surprised.

As if no one has ever said such a thing to them before.

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When I talk about this, I often bring up the values of people in Argentina and Mexico.

Latin American people do not think about tomorrow as seriously as Japanese people do.

Their economies and politics are not exactly stable.

Even so, they laugh often.

They eat.

They talk.

They dance.

They rest.

And still, they live.

If people can live that way there, then surely people can live that way in this country too.

I still believe that.